learning

College has changed my world completely.  I am learning about the Greeks, and redox reactions, exponential functions.  I am also learning how to relate to people completely unlike myself, and how to function on less than five hours of sleep.  Today I realized that I am learning to square my shoulders, swallow hard, and go through situations I find much less than pleasurable.

Take, for example, going to meet a professor to talk about all of the reasons why I got a poor grade on an english paper.  I did not want to go.  I know what a loser I am; I don't really care to discuss it in full detail with my professor.  But I had to, so I did.  It wasn't pleasant, but it was profitable.

Or...apologizing to someone I don't know well. I would really rather not - really rather not.  But it is good, in its own ugly, uncomfortable way.

I think I am growing up, at least a little.

"Well I've never been much for the baring of soul
In the presence of any man
I'd rather keep to myself all safe and secure
In the arms of a sinner I am
Could it be that my worth should depend
By the crimson stained grace on a hand
And like a lamp on a hill Lord I pray in Your will
to reveal all of You that I can."

Jennifer Knapp, Martyrs and Thieves