growing up

When my sister moved away after high shcool, I was angry. My best friend of twelve years was moving halfway across the country, into a different world. A world I was excluded from entirely. I was angry with my sister, my parents, life, and God. Why couldn't we stay how we always were? Why did we have to grow up? Why did she have to move away? More than ever, I felt Jo March and I were akin.

Slowly, as the months and years passed, the anger abated. I came to realize this was just the way it was, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to reverse time, as much as I wanted to. My mom always told me that, even though a wonderful thing had ended, something else wonderful would start. My sister and I would always have a good relationship, no matter where we were. I found that extremely hard to believe. Gone were the days of bomb shelter on the bunk beds and buddy-buddies all day long, and nothing could be better than those things. Ever.

In the past month, I have had some of the most fun with my sisters ever. Mom was right. Even though it's not playing American Girl dolls or dollhouse every afternoon, we still have fun together. RK lives in Omaha, working and going to school. AC is in college and has a job, and I have a job. Time with all of us together is rare. We will never all sit down at the dining room table and bicker our way through morning school again. We will never set up an entire village of houses, playgrounds, and shops on the commons floor again. We will never again own check stores and banks, trading money like it was going out of style. Although that makes me sad, I've accepted it. The things we do have changed, but the relationships haven't. They are still strong and real.

The old is gone, and the new is here. Over Christmas break, we all stayed up watching creepy movies. Some friends went on vacation, and wanted my sister to house-sit. We all trooped over there and spent the night in a strange house - without Mom and Dad. It was fun. It was grown-up.

Life is always moving forward, while I trip along trying to catch up.

Pages are turning now
This is abundant life
The joy in the journey
Is enough to make a grown man cry

Andrew Peterson, Little Boy Heart Alive