I often claim that I shall never marry, but I haven't, until now, had much solid evidence for why I cling so stubbornly to this idea. Tonight, my friends, I present solid, certifiable, proof. No one will be able to argue with me any longer.
I made cookies last weekend. The underneaths of exactly 47% of said cookies were a deep, deep
deep brown...in the cooking world one would equate that color of brown with black, and declare the cookies burnt.
Tonight, I attempted to make two of my friends a chocolate cake. I got really excited about an evening of domesticity - a friend drove me to the store, and I traipsed around picking up cocoa, oil, the works. (Of course, lest we be too domestic, I entirely forgot to get a basket, so I had goods piled up and spilling from my grasp as I flustered my way around the store...) I got back to my dorm, rolled up my proverbial sleeves, and set to work.
Well, I think we can all guess where this is going. The prehistoric oven I was employing insisted on turning off every time I turned my back. Good grief! The end result? I ran out of time and had a half-doughy cake on my hands. And instead of presenting a perfectly scrumptious cake to my friends, I had to present a less-than-perfect cake, along with a disclaimer: "I cook like a five-year-old boy so the middle is doughy and you'll only be able to eat the edge pieces."
What can I say? I am resigned. I will never make a dish, or goody, or otherwise, without something going awry. Whether it be catastrophic or minor, you can bet something will happen.
And then, as a final sort of consummation to my evening of flunked domesticity, I burnt my tongue because I tried to lick the frosting saucepan too soon...
Is anyone surprised?